Lambat lagi ke................

Salam semua,

Masih lagi bersiaran dari Hospital Putrajaya. Warded on 21 February due to bleeding at 29 weeks and after 2 weeks here, was discharged because the problem has resolved. I was having placenta praevia Type 2 at that particular time. Miraculously the placenta moved up and now in the normal position.

I was then back to work and so happy and eager to keep on my daily life as normal as possible. Then fate play its role again. After a few days at work, I was having a 'bloody show' and rushed off to the hospital again. Medical assessment and examination concluded that I was having premature contraction at 34 weeks, jalan dah terbuka 3cm. So warded lagi since 28 March sampai sekarang.

At this exact moment, I am sitting on my bed in the labour room. Been here since 11pm last night. Ingatkan dah nak bersalin. Rupanya belum lagi. Os baru terbuka 4cm. Been like this since 3 days ago. Sebelum ni duduk wad tapi bila dah terbuka 4 cm, cepat2 nurse tolak ke labour room. Kelam-kabut aku menelefon hubby suruh datang hospital. Tunggu punya tunggu, takde progress. Kesian tengok Mr hubby tersengguk-senguk kat tepi katil aku. After 10 jam, doktor decided to send me back to the ward, with caution. Takut terbersalin dalam wad. After a day kat wad, sakit tak bertambah tapi malam semalam, air ketuban bocor. Tu yang dihantar masuk labour room balik.

Aku informed hubby yang aku kat labour room but asked him not to rush over because I am not in intense pain. Sakit sikit2 je. Tak mau jadi macam hari tu. Kelam-kabut ke labour room ingatkan nak bersalin rupanya tidak jugak.

Nurse bagi oksigen dan buat CTG every few hours. Mr hubby datang jugak hospital dan tido kat dalam kereta sepanjang malam. Kesian dia panas dan nyamuk. Jumpa aku sekejap kat labour room sebab nurse tak bagi suami duduk lama-lama. Kalau nak bersalin sangat baru suami boleh teman.

Pagi ni, doktor pakar cakap, kalau contraction bertambah atau bukaan dah jadi besar, doktor akan pecahkan air ketuban. Otherwise, doktor akan biar je nature take its course sebab baby dalam perut tak cukup bulan lagi. Kalau perlu, mungkin aku akan dihantar naik ke wad balik. Hmmmm...aku ni sejak datang sini, dah 3 kali masuk labour room, turn naik dari wad ke labour room tapi jalan (os) lambat sangat terbuka.

Sebelum ni, aku berharap baby stay dalam perut lama sikit tapi sejak berulang-alik naik turun wad dan labour room ni, kena cucuk macam2 (antibiotik sebab amniotic fluid dah leaking), takut dan risau baby kena infection ke lemas ke kat dalam tu, aku mula berfikir, kalau baby nak keluar awal pun takpe la. Dengan harapan baby sihat sempurna. Selagi baby tak keluar, banyak kerisauan dalam kepala.

Baby oh baby...bila baby nak keluar ni............?

The Weeping Me

Hari ni, pagi-pagi lagi aku menangis tengok MHI. Masa tu baru jam 7am. By the time day comes to an end, entah berapa kali lagi aku akan menangis. Oh, dear......

They say that pregnant ladies are very emotional.

Well, I truly agree on that. I even shed a tear on petty things :
- Makanan lambat sampai.
- Kena drive jauh ke tempat keja.
- Payah parking.
- I even cried like mad when Noraniza Idris hugged her sons on her wedding day. Terharu, beb. Aku tak penah suka Noraniza ni. Kutuk lagi ada. Sekarang I kind of understand why she did what she did.


Let alone on big issues such as:
- When doc ordered for a C-sec on me.
- Terfikir kalau aku mati ke, cacat ke due to complications during labour.
- World issues (haa...I never knew that I have this).

Jangan la nak tersalah cakap ke apa, pantas je aku terasa hati. Nasib baik Mr Hubby faham je. During the early days of my pregnancy, I have this feeling that I am incapable of running our house as efficiently as others. Any slight criticism from my hubby seems like a statement of my failure as a mother and wife. Rasa macam I am not good enough. Worse, rasa macam no matter how hard I tried, I WILL never be good enough. Masa tu memang empangan pecah la. Lots and lots of water works, man!

When I was touched or annoyed, I let the steam out on my one and only Mr Hubby. Kesian dia. Bila aku dah ok balik, I keep reminding him that I wasn't myself - it was the hormones talking. So just ignore the hurtful remarks I made earlier on. Luckily, dia faham.

Sekarang ni, aku rasa nak nangis sebab lepas makan ubat tadi, ubat tu terasa macam ada je kat tekak aku. Lepas telan ubat tu, aku rasa nak termuntah. Worse, tangan aku tempat kena cucuk tu, bengkak dan sakit sikit. Aku tak mau bukak sebab nanti kena cucuk tempat lain pulak. Selagi boleh tahan, aku tahan dulu. Kalau dah sakit sangat baru aku bgtau nurse. And.....this makes me want to cry.

Cucuk sana cucuk sini

Semalam doc suruh aku berpuasa, preparing for a C-sect, if the bleeding continues. Aku lapar giler sebab lunch tak makan sangat pastu tea time pun aku tak lalu sebab sakit pinggang. Sebab lapar punya pasal, masa dinner sampai, aku curi2 makan sikit. Perut bukan takat berdendang sayang masa tu tapi dah masuk heavy metal rock punyer. Lapar sangat.

Bila hubby sampai, aku bgtau la aku makan sikit. Dia pun marah kat aku sebab katanya kalau kena operate, bahaya ada makanan tak hadam. Aku pun takut la. Terus bgtau nurse. Nasib baik nurse dan doc baik hati. Dia kata makan la dulu, lepas dinner baru mula puasa balik. Tapi kalau perlu emergency C-sect, aku kena tunggu at least 6 hours sebelum start procedure. Aku pun apalagi, membaham sampai licin nasi goreng kampung + telur mata kerbau yang hubby bawak.

Petang tu aku dah kecut perut bila doc bgtau nak operate. Nurse datang masukkan IV drip, datang pasang alat CTG (utk monitor pergerakan dan heart beat baby). Doc ambil 2 tiub darah, just in case kalau aku perlu blood transfusion ke hapa ke...at least data pasal darah aku dah ada. By late afternoon, nurse datang off kan mesin CTG. Alhamdulillah baby ok. Aku yang takut lebih2 sampai termenangis jugak le sebab teringat Amanda Holden dan beberapa forumers yg bertarung nyawa sebab placenta previa.

Bangun pagi tu, takde bleeding. Semua ok. By 11am, specialist doc, Dr Hamidah datang dan btau all clear. Boleh off IV drip (dah masuk 2 botol) dan boleh makan macam biasa. Syukur.

Oh, pengalaman sedikit ngeri malam semalam ialah bila IV drip aku tak masuk dalam badan. So kena bukak yang lama, kena cucuk yang baru. Doc (intern aku rasa sbb muda sangat) yang tukang cucuk tu tak berapa lemah-lembut. Dah la sakit gila, rasa macam tercucuk sampai ke tulang (perasaan aku je kot) pastu tak menjadi, dia keluarkan - terus darah aku memancut kena cadar. Bengkak at an instance. Hissss ngeri. Pastu dia cucuk tempat lain pulak. Pakai jarum kecik pulak.

Tapi malam tu nurse perasan IV tak gerak jugak. Lepas consult doc (doc senior), doc suruh cabut dan nanti kena cucuk lain. Ayakkkk!! Lepas tunggu beberapa ketika, nurse tu tanya ok ke kalau dia buat? Nurse ni baik sangat. Sangat peramah dan sangat memahami pesakit. Kalau la semua nurse macam ni, alangkah bagusnya. Aku setuju je dia buat sebab sebelum tu dia dah cuba2 tengok urat aku. Nampak macam she knows what she is doing. Dia cucuk aku, sangat berhati-hati. Berjaya! Mission accomplished! Drip berjalan lancar dan sakit tu pun kejap je.Tak berpanjangan. Terima kasih nurse.

Aku pun tido dengan aman........